Strength in Reflection

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you are the prisoner.” — Max Lucado

Let’s talk about a word we don’t use much anymore: absolution. It sounds formal, maybe even religious. But stick with me—this concept might change how you think about forgiveness.

From Latin, ‘absolutus’ means to be made complete, pure, perfect—not to be doubted. It’s about release from guilt, freedom from punishment, and being made whole again. The word ‘absolute’ comes from the same root. Think about that connection.

A Story About Compassion

There’s an old story about Buddha that perfectly illustrates true forgiveness. A furious businessman storms into a meditation session, angry that his children are “wasting time” sitting with Buddha instead of working. Unable to find words, the man spits in Buddha’s face.

Buddha simply smiles. His disciples are outraged but stay silent out of respect. The businessman can’t stay—he runs away, confused by this unexpected response.

That night, the man can’t sleep. His whole world has shifted. The next day, he returns and falls at Buddha’s feet: “Please forgive me.”

Buddha’s response? “I cannot excuse you. When you did nothing wrong to me, why should I forgive you? The person you spat on yesterday is not here anymore. If I ever meet that person, I’ll tell him to excuse you. But to this person here now, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

That’s compassion.

Real forgiveness isn’t about making someone feel guilty and then pardoning them. True forgiveness happens when the forgiven person doesn’t even know they need forgiveness. They shouldn’t carry shame about their mistake. If they do, you haven’t truly forgiven them.

What the Wise Have Said

Great leaders throughout history didn’t just write about forgiveness—they lived it. Ironically, many were killed for teaching love and forgiveness. How do you deal with someone who tells you to love your enemy? Apparently, you kill them.

Gandhi: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong.”

Martin Luther King Jr.: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can. Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it’s a constant attitude.”

Nelson Mandela: “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear.”

Mother Teresa: “People are often self-centered and unreasonable. Forgive anyway.”

Even Jesus, in his final moments: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

The Honest Truth

I stand guilty as charged. Forgiveness is hard for me. When Jesus was asked how many times we should forgive, he said not seven times, but seventy times seven—meaning constantly. It should be a way of life.

But it’s difficult. Sometimes I want revenge. I want justice. I catch myself hoping karma will catch up with people who’ve wronged me. Maybe you’re on your own here—but I doubt it. If we’re honest, we sometimes enjoy seeing people who hurt us face consequences.

That’s why I need forgiveness. I need absolution. I need to be made whole—absolute. My soul cries out for it. The beautiful thing? I don’t need a priest or penance. I can go directly to God in humility and ask. And in an act of mercy and undeserved grace, I’m forgiven and made whole.

That’s what love looks like.

Maybe it’s time to practice forgiveness. Maybe it’s time to ask for it. Maybe it’s time to set ourselves free by forgiving those who’ve hurt us.

Maybe it’s time.